Drew Pickles
Drew Pickles (full name Andrew Louis "Douchebag" Pickles) is, without a doubt, the gayest man in the entire known universe. He has a mastadonic 300 mile long cock and is the leader of the Barney Bunch, and a key ally of the Soviet Ronalds. He currently resides in Drewland. Biography Andrew Louis "Douchebag" Pickles was born on June 9, 1957, at Rainbow Children's Hospital in San Deigo, California. When he was born, his penis was a whopping 5 miles long! The doctors said it was just a birth defect and it would shrink to normal size in a few weeks. Boy, they couldn't have been more wrong. Young Drew learned all of the gay swellness from his father, Lou Pickles, who was a popular figure in the gay porn industry. He taught Drew the many ways of being gay, and how women were horrifying creatures. Drew began jerking off to all the preschool shows on TV at a very early age, too. His slong was about 10 miles long. When Drew started school, he had a monstrous 20 mile long cock in his pants. He met his bestest butt buddy, Barney, at the bus stop. Barney was turned into the same age as Drew by powers that are very insane. When the school bus arrived, Drew shoved it up his ass like a dildo. He also caused trouble for Sammy t3h Snake and his friend Embit, to which the latter bit one of Drew's fingers in retaliation. When they got to school, Drew hid inside Barney's ass because the teacher was a woman, and his father told him all these stories about females that are most unswell. Things were getting out of control as Drew continued with his school years. In middle school, he and Barney filled the school swimming pool with cum, turning all who swam in it gay. In high school, he had a Sex Ed. Class with Barney, along with a nerd named Chaz Finster and (his rival in the future) the Pube Muppet. Drew's 1st job out of high school was being a gay stripper at the local gay bar. He made tons of money from being a gay stripper, and bought lots of dildus and gay porn related things. By then, his dick was 169 miles long. In 1977, he went to see Star Wars in the theater. Drew started to whack off in the theater and he came so much, it filled the entire movie screen. This got him in trouble with the management, which he raped. It was one of the 1st of many times Drew would be confronted by managers. He also got his 1st computer, and missed a whole bunch of school just watching all the gay porn on there. That is, till the computer crashed from all the gay porn Drew downloaded. Drew decided to leave the life of being a stripper and get into acting. Beforehand, he married a lesbian named Charlotte (born October 14, 1957), and then had a bitchy daughter named Angelica. He also had a long-lost son named Screw, who was banished to the 7th Level of Hell upon birth. But those were some pretty weird times, okay? Drew got his big break when he starred in a gay porno called Drew Pickles and the Goatse Gang, which is claimed to be one of his best pornos. Other ones he starred in include Cocksuckers from Cuba, Dicksickles on Ice!, and Drew's Going Down (But Not His Penis Size!). He and his family went to star in the beloved Nickelodeon animated series Rugrats. However, Drew was a minor character and he had to hide his homosexual tendencies and his massive 269 mile long cock. It also interfered with his gay porno schedule. So during season breaks, Drew went to go film his gay pornos with Barney, Ronald McDonald, and Dick the Clown. He would also found his own swell country of Drewland. Trouble hit when the gay porno industry crashed in 2001. Worse still, the ratings for Rugrats were plummeting at a rate that Drew could get a boner. Out of a job after the show ended in 2004, Drew decided to take action. In 2005, he got together with his old pal, Barney, as well as Ronald and Dick, to form a new homosexual group called the Barney Bunch! That was when his cock grew to it's mastadonic 300 mile long size. Nowadays, Drew Pickles goes to various places and cause swell amounts of mischief and mayhem (thanks to the poularity of the "Drew Pickles Goes To" videos). He makes lots of gay pornos online with the Barney Bunch and faces off against many rivals that try to out-gay him or threaten his group, such as Yogi Bear and the Humongous Bunch. Quotes *"Hello my name is Drew Pickles." *"Bag, that was swell!" *"I will show you the true definition of a sick fuck!" *"Today I am going to (insert place here)" *"Using (insert object here) as dildus" *Someone is attempting to steal the dildus!" *"I am turning (insert place here) into (insert place here with swell new name)." *"Hahahahahahahahahahahahemoha this is swell hahahahahahahahahahahahahemoha gay sex hahahahahahahahahahahahahahemoha faggots hahahahahahahahahahahemoha I'm going to cum soisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoi Bag, that was swell!" *"Oh boy! That all sounds super dee duper (insert gross and swell things here) swell! I think I wil go to (insert place here) now." Likes *Being gay *The Barney Bunch *Going to random places to make them swell and raping the customers, employees, and the manager (assuming they are male) *Men, guys, boys, and anything male *Gay porn *Dildus and other sex toys *Shoving said dildus up Chaz Finster's ass *The number 69 *The swell patterns on the Rugrats episode title card *Breaking the 4th Wall (and using the shattered pieces as dildus!) Dislikes *Being straight *Women, chicks, girls, and anything female *Being called a "sick fuck" (to which he shows them the true definition of such) *Those who try to out-gay him *Waiting in long ass fucking lines filled with all sorts of stereotypical people (whom he then proceeds to rape) Allies *Barney the Dinosaur (husband) *Stu Pickles (brother) *Lou Pickles (father) *Chaz Finster (butt buddy) *Flapjack (2nd son, though Barney had to flush him down the toilet so Drew wouldn't know. Drew didn't want a child with Barney at the time) *Drew Pickles Jr. (3rd son) *Ronald McDonald *Dick the Clown *Grimace *Nigel Thornberry *Tito *Elmo (love/hate relationship) *Sammy t3h Snake (on/off rivalry) *Big Macintosh, as well as all ponies who are male *Yoshi and The Soviet Yoshis *The Speakonia community Rivals *Managers *Yogi Bear *Fatty Bear and The Humongous Bunch *Pube Muppet and the entire Pubic Family *Betty DeVille and The Betty Bunch *Brony Drew Pickles *Nega Drew (the straightest man ever, the complete opposite of Drew) *Screw Pickles (1st son) *Charlotte (wife) *Angelica (daughter) *Justin Bieber (secretly a woman!) *Applejack, as well as any ponies that are female Trivia *Drew is the only being that has (thus far) ever raped Weegee. *He has various counterparts such as Brony Drew, Nega Drew, and Dick Pickles. *He can use entire planets as dildus! *Drew also has his own gaming company, Drewtendo! *He's starred in so many gay pornos that it's hard to make a decent count. Estimates are generally in the thousands! Ronald McDonald: The Fighting Game Bio A very swell man and the leader of the Barney Bunch. Drew Pickles is quite possibly the gayest man on the planet, and he enjoys having romps with Barney the Dinosaur. Drew appeared on the Nickelodeon sitcom "Rugrats" as Stu Pickles brother. His largest enemy is Fatty Bear. Rugrats (1991) Gallery Shocked-Drew.jpg|Drew reacts to Princess Molestia! Homer meets DrewPickles.jpg|Homer sees Drew. Drew pickles sceptre by great 5-d8d36co.png|The Drew Cane! It can also be used as a dildo D vs S.jpg|This is an uncut scene from The Rugrats Movie where Drew violently rapes Stu. It was removed for it's explicit sexual nature. Tumblr inline nzs497mjtr1sfl6ht 540.png|The screen-cap that inspired the legendary image of Drew. DrewTrophyRMDTFG.png|Drew's trophy from Ronald McDonald: The Fighting Game. 30562899.jpg|Pimp-Daddy Drew! 30992997.jpg|Drew gives his definition of "SWAG"! 37772323.jpg|The fear of Drew Pickles. Category:Characters Category:Soviet Ronald Allies Category:Barney Bunch Members Category:Barney Bunch Related Category:Bag, that was swell! Category:Speakonia Related